southpark

South Park : "Rich, White Girls Get Ahead In Life Because They Get Abortions When They're Young" NEW YORK, 11:45 PM, THU APR 24 | 54 POSTS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS | tips@jezebel.com | SUBMIT A TIP | Jezebel Celebrity, sex, fashion. Without airbrushing. Coming Up On Dr. Phil : Paul Janka, Caveman Casanova More top stories » Search clips south park top abortion cartmen Tip your editors: tips@jezebel.com Managing Editor: Anna Holmes | Email Senior Editor: Dodai Stewart | Email Features Editor: Moe Tkacik | Email Editor: Tracie "Slut Machine" Egan | Email Associate Editor: Jennifer Gerson | Email Associate Editor: Jessica Grose | Email Editorial Assistant: Maria-Mercedes Lara Commenter Moderator: Hortense | Email Gawker Media Network GizmodoHidden High Mile Club io9unrealistic countdowns Kotakurumor smash GawkerScandal JalopnikHeidfeld BMW F1 Crash Deadspininterviews Of A Lifetime DefamerNow You See It JezebelClips Consumeristrebate checks Valleywagonline advertising LifehackerGadgets FleshbotNSFW SUBSCRIBE TO Jezebel Breaking news and weekly top stories via email Jezebel « next » Clips South Park: "Rich, White Girls Get Ahead In Life Because They Get Abortions When They're Young" This week's episode of South Park parodied the film Stand and Deliver, the true story of high school math teacher Jaime Escalante (played by Edward James Olmos), who taught calculus in East L.A. In a turn of events, Cartman was hired to teach a class at an inner city school and — dressed like Mr. Olmos — he taught the kids that the only way to get ahead in life is to follow the example of white people and cheat. At one point, a female student breaks down and cries because she's pregnant, and Cartman consoles her by telling her he'll take her for an abortion, because that's just what young white girls do when they get pregnant! Clip above. Read More: Coming Up On Dr. Phil: Paul Janka, Caveman Casanova Plus-Size Miss England Contestant Would Like To See Your Bikini Line An Open Letter To Chuck D: What Do You Think Of Flavor Flav Now? 7:00 PM on Fri Apr 11 2008 By Slut Machine 14,256 views 150 comments Tagged: ABORTION, CARTMEN, CLIPS, EDWARD JAMES OLMOS, RICH WHITE GIRLS, SOUTH PARK, STAND AND DELIVER, TOP Comments by Her_royal_Highness at 07:16 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Cartman's attempt at a mexican accent is priceless. by sabbaticalplease at 07:17 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * My mom had 3 abortions before me, because she wasn't responsible and just didn't use protection. I think that's why I'm more critical of abortion than most people, I have a warped perspective. (I'm still prochoice but think it should be limited more). I saw a comedian say once the only thing he didn't know how to make funny was abortion. Go South Park, they can make ANYTHING funny. by hollywoodenflames at 07:19 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * awesomeness! tgif by nolongerinacubiclebuts... at 07:20 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @Her_royal_Highness: I'm slow :( I was just gonna say the Cartman mexican accent by way of Edward James Olmos makes this. by jezebelacious at 07:20 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * AborSHUNNNNNNNNNNS! by jane D'oh! at 07:20 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Amy Richards says "Poor women abort. Black women abort. But educated white women terminate." by ThatFragHagDagnabbit at 07:21 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * OMG. I have a mad case of the "Ganas!" to tivo this bitch when it re-airs. SP kills me. by lurkystars at 07:22 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * HHHow cahn I rreeeach deez keeedz?? by misssgolightly at 07:24 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 164 @sabbaticalplease: I remember reading a NY Times piece a few years back on abortion. It was written by the son of a mother who had had more than fifteen abortions. She said it wasn't her fault because she was "as fertile as a rabbit." That's where I think it gets a little out of hand. Go on birth control, lady! by misssgolightly at 07:25 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 164 @sabbaticalplease: @misssgolightly: Oh, and the "go on birth control, lady" wasn't directed towards your mom, it was directed towards 15+ Abortion Lady. by JessicaLovejoy wholly... at 07:28 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 475 I was so sad that at the end, he didn't do the walk away and fist pump. I always loved that part! by Oface at 07:29 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * "How do I reeech these keeeds?" God, just when I thought South Park was getting unfunny, they rally! by LaComtesse at 07:29 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 322 "How do I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeach theeeeeeeeeese kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiids?" by atalanta at 07:32 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * This episode was so awesome. When they first show Cartman shaving his head I was thinking 'what the hell? is he gonna show up at this school as a skinhead?' But then when he walked into the class with that perfect Olmos combover, it was soooo satisfying! Also, I loved the "An American Tail" shoutout with the mouse singing to the moon, though the penis-mouth really creeped me out a bit. by garrison-tequillor at 07:35 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Cheat those little critters in our bellies right out a life. by Elevendy at 07:35 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * The chola with the red bandana, Wayfarers, and Raiders jersey warms my heart. by shoebunny at 07:35 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Someone should tell Jamie Lynn Spears. by ceejeemcbeegee at 07:37 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 697 I love South Park because for all it's rudeandcrudeness, there is always a grain of truth. The Belachik/Patriots jokes were priceless! by Jessi Ramsey at 07:40 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 134 "I misinterpreted the rules" But yeah, singing penis kinda made me twitch. by kitsune at 07:43 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Yeah, the singing penis? I was pounding my forehead on my coffee table, moaning, "why?...why?" To my mind, the best SP episodes feature baby Ike. by chatterboxwriting at 07:46 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * I saw a really funny SP the other night after thinking it stopped being funny years ago. Cartman was being really bad so they hired Nanny 911 and Super Nanny and no one could get through to Cartman except Cesar Milan (the Dog Whisperer). It was hysterical. by Cam/ron at 07:46 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @JessicaLovejoy: Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, ACK!: There was one moment at the end when I thought he'd do the pump. Damnit! Here's hoping there will be a SP parody of "The Class of 1984." by umm_okay at 07:46 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Honestly, I think the title of this post is true. At least for the blue vrs red political divide. Part of the reason liberal women tend to be highly educated and get higher paying jobs is because they get abortions if they get pregnant when they are young. Then they can focus on a career and financial stability. Where as people who are more politically on the right have the baby if they get pregnant when they are young, and that doesn't give them the chance to get ahead in life as much. by sabbaticalplease at 07:47 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @misssgolightly: no prob no offense taken :) by Her_royal_Highness at 07:55 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @misssgolightly: exactly. I am not one to use abortion as birth control. Its called a condom people...they are nice, compact and come in many shapes, sizes, flavours and textures. by Xavoc at 08:00 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 218 Well, at least they didn't replace Cartman w/ the chocolate pooter cast that SM made a few weeks back... Then we wouldn't have been able to tell that Olmos had been replaced. by Her_royal_Highness at 08:01 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * I am highly disappointed that they did not give chola homegirl some outrageous eyebrows and fabulous dark lip liner with no filling. by Xavoc at 08:02 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 218 @umm_okay: I know quite a few republicans that have had abortions, not sure it's a politically on the right thing. More like a religious, cultural, family influence, personal decision, and monetary thing. by laddibugg at 08:04 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * "It is at our most challenging times that we must cheat our very hardest"..def. using that in the future by Xavoc at 08:05 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 218 @chatterboxwriting: Stopped being funny? What? + Watch video by Legalese at 08:06 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @shoebunny: heh, yes, it is too bad this episode didn't air about six months ago! I will never understand why she didn't slap on a hat and some shades and sneak into a Planned Parenthood. by goodcheapfun at 08:08 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @shoebunny: Wow, was she ever planning on going to College? by lilbrwngrl at 08:10 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * wow. where is cartmen to help all the young misguided latinas at their moment of need? by Xavoc at 08:13 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 218 Or, you know... + Watch video by shoebunny at 08:17 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @goodcheapfun: I heard that's why she got her GED- she is planning to go to college. by broad at 08:28 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @kitsune: "Ike made a ne-no!" The episode with Cartman as Dog the Bounty Hunter? Best. One. EVER. by BidenBaden at 08:29 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 272 @umm_okay: actually, the average abortion-goer is a married Catholic woman in her 40s, according to statistics. by tawnyowl at 08:38 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @umm_okay: I think that is a huge generalization, and probably not true. Also, are you assuming if a woman is well-educated, has a higher job, is liberal, and doesn't have kids or had them later in life, she had an abortion? You know they could of used birth control or not had sex. by mipsy6 at 08:40 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * conservatively raised girls get abortions, too, they just keep it on the DL. at least that's what all the cheerleaders with Republican dads did at my high school. get the hush hush abortion, hire the undocumented immigrant to raise your kids, vote Republican! woo hoo! by shoebunny at 08:41 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @BadenBaden: Really? I wanna see a link to those statistics. by PinkSoxHat at 08:48 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * I'm frustrating myself to no end because of course I can't find it right now, but one of the most powerful/disturbing things I've ever read is the accounts of clinic workers having a woman/girl who has been protesting outside every weekend walk in for an abortion, claim they were "different" than the other women there, that their abortion was okay, and they'd be right back out protesting the next weekend. So saying this is a liberal/conservative issue is a gross misstatement. by umm_okay at 08:50 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @tawnyowl: Oh no, I'm definitely not assuming that. I just think it may be a small thing that contributes to on average pro-choice women being able to become highly educated and get high paying jobs. Not necessarily a significant thing. And I don't think most women who have kids later in life have had abortions. And conservative people do get abortions I'm sure, but they are more likely to be pro-life. Maybe it's only recently that that position became so associated with conservative views, I don't know. by Lymed at 08:50 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 88 @mipsy6: Non-whites get abortions too. I know somebody who volunteered at an abortion clinic in Texas. Same Latina girls who passed out pro-life literature with their church groups would show up on Saturday at the clinic. But I wonder how many of those girls got adequate sex education. by PinkSoxHat at 08:56 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @umm_okay: Pro life does not necessarily mean haven't/won't have an abortion. Its really easy to be pro life until you have an unwanted pregnancy. Its what you do then that really counts. by mipsy6 at 08:57 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @Lymed: I didn't say anything about skin color. I said conservative cheerleader types--they come in all colors, in my experience. by BidenBaden at 09:02 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 272 @umm_okay: @Lymed: @shoebunny: Guttmacher has all the stats: [guttmacher.org] by chouflur at 09:03 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @umm_okay: stats, plz? This may be my debate side showing, but I'm demanding facts. by StratfordX at 09:08 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @Legalese: it's not what i'd choose either but I can't say I don't *understand* why she didn't have one. by umm_okay at 09:12 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @chouflur:My post was just speculation and theorizing. I am not about to try and prove it with an argument or facts. It's not an idea I'd hold fast to. Perhaps I should have phrased it like, "I wonder if this contributes to this," rather than stating it as a fact I believe in. Sorry. But it makes sense that if you get the abortion while you are young and then are able to spend time with education and career, you'd move up economically and be more successful than if you had the kid, right? by greenteaparty at 09:16 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * My paternal grandmother is one of those women who has had 15+ abortions. When I was ten years old, she told me "Sweetie, when it starts feeling like a cockroach is squirming around in your stomach, it's time to go get an abortion." My mother was appalled. by major disaster at 09:20 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @PinkSoxHat: This sounds like what you're thinking of: "The only moral abortion is my abortion." by MinneFilly at 09:20 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * problems with selective catholicism in its extremes: when i was a teacher in south texas, the mostly catholic population had abstinence-only education (and no health class in junior high AT ALL) and the firm belief that abortion is wrong under almost every circumstance. but the students WERE having sex (not really culturally encouraged to wait till marriage). so, on my 7th and 8th grade campus, there were 3 pregnant female students. i'm pro choice, but i'm not advocating abortion--i am advocating education about contraception. the only people getting cheated are these girls who were uninformed or misinformed and had no choice. on the bright side, the clip is hilarious (b/c it's kinda true--my white, upper-middle-class college educated friends who have had unintended pregnancies have all had abortions). by zoobabe at 09:24 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @greenteaparty: that's shocking. My paternal gramma cooked us ravioli. by PinkSoxHat at 09:27 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @major disaster: Yes! Thank you! Bookmarked for future use. by TrixieBelden at 10:19 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * I think I'm one of five people who've never watched this show. I will watch this clip, however, because I am a slave to Jezebel. by jigglyball at 10:20 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @kitsune: Oh my goodness I love Ike. I have many favorite lines, but "I took phree hits" uttered after he's dropped acid with the disaffected San Fran adolescents, is always often on the tip of my tongue at inappropriate times. My SP viewing has dropped off, but I'm totally getting the bf to tivo this when it re-airs. Thanks! by jigglyball at 10:25 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * My roommate is very conservative and considers herself pro-life (a term I kind of loathe, because it's so damn manipulative), but she's told me that she'd consider an abortion if she got pregnant while still in law school or during the early years of her career. by jigglyball at 10:27 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * This is the same roommate who loves family-values country music and sleeps with married men; the vegan of 10 years who can't bear the thought of animal cruelty but who is kind of alarmingly gung-ho about the death penalty. Ah, nuance. by FourInchHeels at 10:28 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @TrixieBelden: If you're one, then I'm two. Do we think we'll find the other three tonight?? Also, his accent is strangely similar to Cheech. I was kinda hoping we'd see Chong pop out somewhere along the line. I was sorely disappointed. by tunabomb at 10:30 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * i work at a women's health clinic that provides abortions. rich and poor women have abortions. religious women have abortions. white women have abortions. black women have abortions. liberal women have abortions. you get the point- WOMEN get abortions. the difference is less about who has abortions, but who admits to it and feels safe enough to talk about it. that said, this south park shit is funny! by FourInchHeels at 10:31 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @jigglyball: Ahhhhhhh her view pisses me right the fuck off. I don't know that I'm really pro-abortion, but I'm DEFINITELY pro-choice. She realizes that if her pro-life (meaning anti-choice) stance gets its way ... she won't be able to have that convenient abortion while in law school, right? Makes me want to bang my head against a wall when I hear people say they're pro-life but would consider an abortion for themselves! If you want to be able to make the choice, stop trying to take it away!!!! wtf, y'all? /rant. Whoops. End of a long week, eh? by PaintedTrollop at 10:56 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * Approx, 2/3 of teenaged girls are impregnated by adult men. Maybe instead of blaming the girls, we should do something about MEN??? by marie123 at 11:03 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @MinneFilly: 'm pro choice, but i'm not advocating abortion--i am advocating education about contraception. the only people getting cheated are these girls who were uninformed or misinformed and had no choice." Seconded. @PaintedTrollop: That wasn't brought up in the episode, but it has been on this site before. Statutory (or regular) rape is bad--birth control still keeps that bad situation from getting worse. That's all. by Athaliah at 11:34 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @greenteaparty: Way back in 1973 my mother was discussing with a friend 'right-to-lifers' protesting legal abortion. The friend said, "What the hell do these people think happens on the farm?". Apparently when that 8th+ kid comes along a woman would decide that she'd had enough and take care of it with a bike spoke or a wire coat hanger. Also, in some countries, like the USSR, contraceptives were illegal, but abortion was, which is why Russian women, at the time, had an average of 10 abortions. by RedHotz at 11:36 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @FourInchHeels: Make me number 3 for having never watched this show. by FourInchHeels at 11:45 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @RedHotz: I knew we'd find you here! I don't often admit that I've never seen an episode because the reaction is similar to the one I imagine I'd get if I told people I eat babies. Welcome to the club, now we're just waiting on 4 and 5 :) by FourInchHeels at 11:47 PM on 04/11/08 Reply by Email * @FourInchHeels: OH.MY.GOD. I need to think before I speak. Eating babies was beyond not appropriate given the post topic. I'm going to go put myself in time out for a little while for that one. by TrixieBelden at 12:20 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @RedHotz: @FourInchHeels: We're up to three! I'm so glad I'm not alone. by RoyOrb at 01:16 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * I take the broad biological view that the REAL purpose of having heterosexual intercourse is to perpetuate the human species. Religion (speaking from my Christian perspective) long preached the morality of abstinence before marriage, and the virtues of having children within a marriage between man and wife. Children were seen as a 'blessing from God', and not having children was seen as 'not having been blessed (yet)'. When agriculture and family farms were the norm in the still-developing United States during the mid-1800's, having lots of children meant having lots of help to do the back-breaking work of pre-mechanized farming. When the industrial revolution brought workers to factory jobs in the cities, having lots of children became less of a necessity, and less convenient, because cities were crowded and expensive, compared with family farms. Ironically, better agriculture and healthier living meant increased nutrition. Increased nutrition meant that women became fertile sooner, and stayed fertile longer, thus increasing the biological potential for having children with each act of intercourse. When abortion was illegal and "birth control" (really, it was "pregnancy avoidance") was still primarily under the control of men (condoms), families were still quite large. The only CERTAIN way for a woman to prevent pregnancy was to avoid intercourse. World War II separated millions of newlywed husbands who went off to war, from their newlywed wives who went to work in the factories, while direct and indirect war casualties killed nearly a fourth of the population of the world. When the war ended, the resulting baby boom was as much a biological necessity as a choice among long-separated lovers. Many women, out of the home during the war, returned to staying at home and began raising children. But many women stayed in the workforce. Chemical oral contraceptives were introduced in the early 1960's and became popular with women, because for the first time ever, a woman could control her fertility. Avoiding pregnancy with intercourse became much easier to accomplish. Somewhere during the 1960's and 1970's, the easy availability of oral contraceptives to prevent pregnancy, and easier abortions to terminate unwanted pregnancies, led to a profound change of society's perspective of heterosexual intercourse. In the bedroom, heterosexual intercourse became an act centered on pleasuring oneself and (presumably) one's partner without moral judgment of any kind. You weren't trying to perpetuate the species, or receive a blessing from God, you were just trying to have a good time. When said acts of pleasure resulted in the creation of a viable fetus, and now without moral judgment, the fetus became, not a blessing from God, or a future perpetuant of the human species, but an inconvenient problem "to be taken care of". Working outside the home became a popular cultural choice, and resulting two-parent incomes allowed families to buy and build homes in the ever-expanding suburban sprawl. Standards of living and expectations of living well increased. Two cars became the norm. Sales outlets became centered in shopping malls, making it easier to buy and consume. Shopping became a primary focus of modern urban and suburban life. Daycare centers for pre-school children became popular options instead of parents (primarily mothers) staying at home to nurture very young children until they reached school age. Schools became a more important influence in the education of children than the parents. God, prayer, and morality was systematically removed from the public school curriculum, as 'situational ethics' and 'freedom of choice' became the norm. Child abuse increased as children became less-valued by society. Women of developed nations world-wide have taken control of their fertility, and the birth rates of these nations have declined drastically. In much of Europe, the birthrate has fallen below that needed to sustain current populations into the next generation. The point of all of this? I'm decidedly pro-CHOICE: I urge each man and women to make the very personal CHOICE to embrace each fetus you help create, not as a 'problem to be taken care of', but as a 'blessing from God' (or your supreme being of choice). P.S. Oh yeah, one other thing. You're also helping to perpetuate the species! Blessings! by taxbaby at 01:39 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @RoyOrb: So you're pro-that-particular choice. Also, I think the species is doing pretty okay at perpetuating itself: see, e.g., the rise of world population from 1.6 billion in 1900 to 6 billion in 2000. God doesn't enter into my reproductive choices, although I don't mind if he enters into yours. So I guess you could call me 'pro-LIFE', in that I urge each man and woman to make their own personal LIFE choices. by Xavoc at 01:41 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 218 @RoyOrb: Please keep your Jesus off my penis. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5YrB7TpT1Y I appreciate your views on religion and the cause of the moral decline of America. Now, let's look at morals. You believe in a religion that was responsible for, the crusades, the spanish inquisition, the systematic relocation, robbery, and destruction of native human tribes indiginous to an area. All in the name of Divine Right. A country that oppressed women's rights, and the rights of people whose skin wasn't white for centuries. Do you speak Hebrew? Do you speak aramaic? Have you read the Torah in its native language, with a firm grasp of the lives and culture of the people during the time period that it was written? Something you may know as the Old Testament? May you be touched by his noodley appendage. by Xavoc at 01:43 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 218 @RoyOrb: Oh, and propagating the species further when we're already severely damaging our environment and destroying the lives of others to maintain or increase our standard of living? That's not a species, that's a virus. We're behaving more like a cancerous growth than a species that lives within its proper food chain. by jigglyball at 01:46 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @RoyOrb: Dude, the procreation of the species was a much bigger concern when "your" religion was founded. Like, the bigger the sect, the more powerful it was. Unlike the current state of our economy, back then it was a very simply numbers game. Examine the rules you've inherited, yo. by susannapants at 02:09 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @RoyOrb: Thanks for the history lesson and flash backs to Catholic school. I think I'll just continue to avoid getting pregnant via the responsible and profligate use of the blessing called birth control made available as a result of the God given genius of medical researchers and continue to have sex as much as I want without the consequence of an unintended and unwanted result thank you very much. by Xavoc at 02:11 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 218 Oh, and Roy? Per the Jewish faith that your religion is based upon..Sex for the sake of making your spouse happy is a mitzvah! by Artful Slinger is Back... at 02:31 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @nolongerinacubiclebutstillawhore!: Can we agree that anyone born after '85 would have had their mind explode while watching this? "How do I reach these kids!!!" Trey and Matt could be the best things that have happened to H'wood in 20 years! by ThatsMS.Ktoyou at 05:11 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @chatterboxwriting: Oh, that was totally awesome! I loved that episode, just made my day! And tonight's episode? PRICELESS. Truly priceless! Meester Cartminez, hhhow can hhhe reeeeeeech theese keeeeeeds? by SydneyGal at 07:44 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @greenteaparty: Um, yes, that's pretty appalling. For starters, if you can feel it, you're way way past the first trimester, probably into about 5 months, and that's pretty unsafe. by SydneyGal at 07:57 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @RoyOrb: "Sales outlets became centered in shopping malls, making it easier to buy and consume. Shopping became a primary focus of modern urban and suburban life." Ah thanks Roy, for pointing out that capitalism and consumerism are to blame for low birth rates in western nations. Because all us girlies just love to shop, and we neglect their marital duties while we're out abusing our credit cards. Nitwit. by stoprobbers at 09:52 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * The fact of the matter is that a country that upholds a general pro-choice stance in its laws does absolutey nothing to hinder a woman's choice NOT to have an abortion if she doesn't want to. And so if you don't want to have abortions, then don't. And if you do, then do. I think the far bigger issue that's been exposed in this thread is that people don't watch South Park! And that some of them do so because they feel there is a stigma attached to it! Oy, you people have NO IDEA what you've been missing -- this show has been so ON lately. To wit: "Canada On Strike!" in which the writer's strike was lampooned just enough to remind us of why it was kinda really important anyway. [fyi -- TP and MS both participated in said strike] And also in which there is an epic battle of the Intarweb STARZ. "Major Boobage" in which there was boobs and cat pee and it was so awesome that Jezebel posted a clip and I Netflixed "Heavy Metal." "Britney's New Look" in which Trey Parker and Matt Stone almost made me piss my pants 10 separate times and also made me feel deep and abiding sympathy for Britney Spears. "Tonsil Trouble" in which AIDS finally makes its comedy comeback. "Guitar Queer-O" in which Guitar Hero is giving the lampooning it deserves. AND, the mother of them all: "Imaginationland Parts I, II and II" in which all hell breaks loose and goddamnit South Park should win a fucking Emmy for this surreal triology! Seriously, peeps -- embrace the South Park. Love the South Park. With Cartman on our side, we can never fail. by The Boyg at 10:02 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @umm_okay: You seem to have conflated rich white girls with liberals. I've known quite a few rich white girls who are staunch conservatives, although most of them see their own personal situation as an exception to the general rules they'd like for others. They are often like the roommate another poster mentioned earlier, who would get an abortion if the pregnancy interfered with her ability to stay in law school but yet somehow doesn't think that choice should be widely available. I mean, personally I think education makes more liberals than liberalism makes people pursue education. But if forced to speculate, I'd say that higher rates of education and higher incomes among liberals are more likely to correlate with them being willing to use as much birth control as possible to prevent the unwanted pregnancy in the first place (with respect to unplanned pregnancies preventing someone from getting further education and better jobs, at least). @RoyOrb: Soooo basically you're saying that the downfall of society is being caused by women having to gall to want to enjoy sex. Have you got any familiarity with your audience here?? I would point out some of the obvious flaws in that argument, but I have this weird feeling you wouldn't understand them. by FourInchHeels at 10:27 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @RoyOrb: I'm going to have to ask if you have sex. Because by your argument, no one should have sex unless trying to create young'ns. I just want to be sure that you're practicing what you preach. The only thing the belles hate more than narrow-mindedness is a hypocrite. And if we're going by that interpretation of the Bible, then let's bring out the Hebrew version so we can really knock the socks off this thing. The seventh commandment translates literally to "Do not commit sexual filth" and if you do a little more digging, filth refers to anything which doesn't make babies. Masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, impure thoughts, and any sort of fondling, touching, or thinking - all sexual filth. So, I sincerely hope that your more literal and strict interpretation of the Good word means that you're closely following what it says. No touching yourself, or even so much as thinking about touching yourself or others, not ok. If you can admit to yourself in your heart of hearts (and remember - God is watching!) that you don't partake in any of these things, then we can talk. If, with God as your witness, you have ever broken that seventh commandment, then why on earth would you hold to a belief that you can't abide by, much less trying to hold others? Cognitive dissonance says you're either rationalizing your behavior, or your argument. Which is it? Sure we get forgiven for our sins, but intentionally, repeatedly, and actively breaking a commandment isn't smiled upon because it says your repentance wasn't all that serious to begin with. I know I'm not the be-all end-all in this discussion, but I reeeeeeeeeeeally don't think that it's going to fall squarely on my shoulders to populate the world. Pretty sure all sorts - responsible and irresponsible alike - will be doing that for me. Populating the world happens whether or not my sexing adds to it. I'd probably be doing the natural world a favor if I don't add to it. Xavoc is pretty much spot-on in my opinion. Population explosions (making the 'right choice' by not preventing or ending pregnancy) aren't doing anyone a favor. by JustZoot at 11:23 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * Southpark rules. Trey & Matt are geniuses. They cut through the bullshit and still make it laugh-out-loud funny. Cartoon characters have a lot more freedom to speak the truth than live actors (see: The Simpsons, Family Guy, Futurama.) My roommate in college had an abortion and agonized over her decision and beat herself up about it for many years after. (She is married now & has 3 girls that she absolutely adores.) I don't advocate abortion as birth control (it IS surgery, and an extreme choice for that), but sometimes your birth control fails (the condom breaks, antibiotics negate the pill, etc.) I think abortion should be available as a safety net, and women shouldn't have to divert their plans for their future just because they got caught with their hand in the cookie jar. That view may make me a bad Catholic, but just add it to my tab. by raleigh likes swaddling at 11:51 AM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @RoyOrb: I can't even finish reading your comment it's making my blood boil. I knew that there were going to be some Pro-Choice comments on this post, which yours clearly is, but then to say that your Pro-Choice in nice big capital letters as in a last ditch effort to not create an entire mutiny, is a rather tasteless move. How, after all of that dribble that just poured out of your mouth, can you disgrace the words Pro-Choice? I mean, hearing you say that is making me feel ashamed of having that opinion, which I never have before. How can you even read this website yet alone with Slut Machine's posts and all the other posts on sex and whatnot? I mean, seriously? Why are you depriving yourself of such a wonderful thing? Because that's what sex is. Sometimes it can suck, sometimes it can mean absolutely nothing, sometimes it can be used to express your love for someone, sometimes it can be used to procreate, and that's the way people like it. It just depends on who you're asking. So how dare you try and tell other people how to live their lives. Your rant on birth control put me into a tail spin. I went on b.c. because my boyfriend (Who, b.t.w., is a pretty hardcore Christian while I am not. So we have had these discussions) and I were having un-protected sex and had a huge pregnancy scare. He's Pro-Life, while I am not, but the idea of terminating a possible life with the man that I love so much killed me. So when I found out I wasn't knocked up, I went on the ring. Done. No more scares. And I would have gotten an abortion, because lord knows we ain't ready for no babe. Which brings me to my next issue. Do you seriously think that we need more children in this world? What, with the impending recession, environment, and all do you really think bringing more children into a world like this is that great of an idea? And what would your response be? To protect them from all of this? Oh, great. Have them be a sheltered little know-nothing. Much better. AND are the drapes really pulled that tightly over your eyes that you can't see this rather large baby boom going on right now? Where I live alone (a very small, very rural, very isolated island) I can name ten people off the top of my head. And four of them are my age (20) or younger. So I'd say they're jumping on that fertile bandwagon of yours. But! Gasp! They're not married! Oh no! Does that mean them and their bastard, innocent, pure sole-d chiled are all bound to hell? Probably not. They're doing what they can, and they're making it work and they have a beautiful family that I know many would be envious of. So what happens to a married couple when they don't want to have children? Does God never bless them? Because that seems awfully mean, and from what I understand He's a pretty nice fella. And what about gay couples? Because theres tons of ways for them to have kids. I really don't like the way you're interpreting the Bible. While my boyfriend and his whole family is very religious, they are still entirely open minded and believe that God is the final judgement, so therefore they can cast no judgement. You should try it. Takes a lot of weight off your shoulders which should have never be there in the first place. by SusanBarton at 12:18 PM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @RoyOrb: I hate the way (some) Christians always try to enforce their conservative views on others who COULD NOT GIVE A SHIT about an out-dated, patriarchal, moral code that has NO PLACE WHATSOEVER in contemporary society. by Cam/ron at 12:30 PM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @RoyOrb: I'm little glad that your sermon has stirred the Jezebel pot even though I disagree with ya. by TheUptightMidwesterner at 12:32 PM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * Pro-Choice/Anti-Abortion. You can be both. by Sanditon at 12:36 PM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @umm_okay: You do realize the Republican voters are actually richer than Democratic voters. I'm no republican but I think you're being unfair. by ULookinAtMyJunk is the... at 12:38 PM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * Connectedness Index: 122 @TheUptightMidwesterner: Just curious. How? by PaintedTrollop at 12:45 PM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @TheUptightMidwesterner: Amen. I was 18 when I learned that the Pill was 99% effective. Little miss 1% is now 33. It was 1974, and I HAD A CHOICE. by topsy at 01:14 PM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @FourInchHeels: Sorry I'm late but I'm #4. Have never watched a South Park episode. Never even saw the movie. by snowpoppies at 01:14 PM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * Roy Orb, this is you! "P.S. Oh yeah, one other thing. You're also helping to perpetuate the species! Oh dear. As Bill McKibben said, if there was one command of God's (or, as you say "one's supreme being of choice" !) that this species has fulfilled, it's "go forth and multiply." We did. We can check it off the list. We're good. At soon to be 9 billion in our lifetime, or something. So blessings, wrapped in a condom, right back at you -- p.s could the following be evidence as to why you're typing into the midnight hour? "I take the broad biological view that the REAL purpose of having heterosexual intercourse is to perpetuate the human species." Now that sets a girl on fire. by ValerieM at 01:18 PM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @RoyOrb: YOu know what? Fuck you.That is all. by snowpoppies at 01:21 PM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @TheUptightMidwesterner: And I am. Under most circumstances, I wouldn't have an abortion, but what anyone else does is just not my business, not my choice. I've supported friends who chose to abort, and friends who chose to have the baby. by snowpoppies at 01:38 PM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * My sister-in-law had three abortions, then found God and is now extra super pro life and couldn't be more judgmental -- or more Republican -- if she tried. She had hers, now she's closing the gate on you all. Take that. Oh yeah, she's a self-righteous ex-smoker too. Thanks for this clip -- good stuff. by TheUptightMidwesterner at 01:39 PM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @ULookinAtMyJunk is the Hate Mitigator: @PaintedTrollop: @snowpoppies: I hate abortion. I wish it didn't exist. However, I am not in any position to deny any woman's right to choose.If this nation would get off its ass and grow the fuck up and start educating people about sex, choices, and responsibilty, then maybe arguing about abortion would be moot. by snowpoppies at 01:46 PM on 04/12/08 Reply by Email * @TheUptightMidwesterner